bummer days

I literally just typed out five paragraphs then accidentally clicked refresh. Shoot, dude. Well, the gist of it was that I love my life. Beginning with that In'n'Out trip two weeks ago, I have made countless memories and bonds with people I love than I could imagine. I seriously smile just thinking about things like the movie nights or Shea driving up for the weekend on a whim or the fact that I get to stay with Grandma and Grandpa on Wednesday and Thursday and they're paying me to paint the sun room or friends predicting my future husband or blasting Garth Brooks in the car or long talks or family puzzle parties or bonfires or my mischievous plans or car rides that I laughed the entire way through or Stake Conference alone or my talented cousins who I'm so proud of or my family being incredibly giddy every time someone mentions our Hawaii trip and the fact that we're packing already but not leaving for three weeks. Moral of the story: I am blessed with amazing friends and family who make me want to be a better person and there's nothing more that I could ask for.

fries and a shake, here I come

Welllllpp, today was a great day! I went to church (fricken awesome) where I listened to Blake Drennan give his farewell talk and he did so great! I learned a lot from it and did tear up, I must admit. Then I came home and since it's dad's birthday we made Monte Cristo sandwiches, fresh fruit smoothies, and potatoes. Yum. Then from about 1 until 8 we played games and did puzzles. What a blast... for real.

The weekend was great too! I worked a lot and went out and met some new people and it was quite a success. I am very content right now. With everything in my life. I just have this overwhelming feeling of peace and happiness and I truly have no worries because I know that everything is going to work out. Ahh nothing beats this.

And now I am on my way to In'N'Out with some friends... I suddenly jus realized how hungry I am. ;)

This was taken on New Years Eve 2010 in Sonora, CA - my grandpa is on the left and his brother, Alan, is on the right. We were there with nearly all of our cousins and a lot of other extended family for their older brother's funeral. The three brothers grew up in Sonora and none of their grandkids had ever been there so we spent a few hours after the funeral touring around town and hearing story after story from their childhood. I could have spent days doing just that. It was so fun and interesting and I was smiling for the entire day! This picture specifically was taken in front of a building on Main Street that used to be a barber shop their father owned when they were kids. They worked there, and even lived there at times, and were so happy to share it with us. I am extremely close to my whole family, but these two men have extremely special places in my heart and have given me memories I will never forget.

meet me, the offerer

Definition of me being bored: offering to wake up Tori for seminary at 5:45, then offering to wake up Isaac for school at 7:45, then making Isaac breakfast and lunch, then offering to go to the gym with my mom at 9. It worked out very well, though, and I'm doing it again tomorrow :)

I worked today for the first time in a few weeks and I literally walked around with a smile on my face. I love my job and I offered to take an extra 5 hour shift tomorrow. What a saint.

Sooo here's the deal. You know when you (I'm just talking to the future me, here to pretend I have an audience... haha) have this thing in your head that you think about all of the time. And you know you shouldn't be worrying about this thing anymore because there's nothing sensible that you can do to control it. And you're starting to think about doing somewhat insensible things because you just want to do something about it. And you don't want to bring up this thing to other people because then they would think that you are crazy for still thinking about it. And you have decided the best thing to do is just go on with your life and see where this thing ends up. And you try. And it works. And then something happens and screws the whole thing up. Yeah, that sucks. And I'm referring to more than a couple things here... But I think I have found a quote to stop me once and for all. "There's no point in watching a pot and waiting for it to boil while there is real life going on around us. The only thing that will bring us is regrets and missed opportunities. The water will boil whether we're watching it or not, and we might as well live our lives in the meantime." Okay fine I just came up with that... But it works, right?

It's not possible to love people more than I love the people in this picture. This was in Miami, Florida in June 2010 in a rental van after a week long cruise in the Caribbean. We spent this day driving around, touring different parts of Florida and loving every moment of it. Exhausting? Yes. Priceless? Ohh yes.

red, white, and blue vomit

The job hunt is still on... now in the mix are Bed, Bath, and Beyond, Island's, and Mcdonald's. Please please pleaseeee.

Exciting news - I learned a very valuable lesson today! They way to anyone's heart truly is to find something that they love to do so much that they usually do it alone, and DO IT WITH THEM. Ever since dad's heart attack last year, he has been so good at staying healthy and he usually walks for 45 minutes every day. When I got home, I just started going to the gym because that's where I'm comfortable exercising but today I switched things up and went with him! He usually goes around 6 or 7 in the evening and as he is walking out the door, he'll ask if anyone wants to go with him and no one will reply at all so he leaves without a word. Can you say 'stab me in the heart'? Yeah, so I went with him, and despite the horrific shin splints and having to jog to keep up at some points, I could tell it made him so happy. I loved being able to spend those 45 minutes with him and hearing his past walking stories or just catching up. So, I'm going to try to focus on that this year; spending time with the people I love doing things that they love. Sound good? Good.

I spent like 3 hours last night looking up new songs and downloading them. I just can't get enough of music and I found some great new songs.

What Do You Want by Jerrod Niemann - I heard it at the right time in my life, I guess! Very easy to relate to.

Pretty Girl Rock by Keri Hilson - A little conceited but who doesn't like that every once in a while?

If I Die Young by The Band Perry - I've heard it before, but if you listen to the words closely, it makes so much sense. Brilliance.

Moment 4 Life feat. Drake by Nicki Minaj - Love this woman and she has done it again. Makes me nod my head like a mother in church.

Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not by Thomson Square - So cute, great little love story.

Raymond by Brett Eldredge - Ready to cry? Good. This song means a lot to me mostly because I have spent a lot of time in nursing homes visiting my great-grandparents, at least once a month for my entire life. I have some great and some horrible vivid memories and this song reminds me of the great ones.

Who Are You When I'm Not Lookin by Blake Shelton - Adorable. We all think about it...

Moving from music to pictures...

This was taken in April 2008 at our favorite restaurant in Disneyland!! We went with the Stapleys for a few days and this was the last day. It was one of those vacations where you ate like crap and didn't stop walking the entire time and got 5 hours of sleep each night and didn't care what you looked like because you wouldn't see a mirror until you went to bed at night. And this picture is the result of three straight days of that. Isaac and Sam fell asleep at the table that evening and my make-up had been washed off in a ride a few hours earlier. Uncle Garth and my mom went back to the hotel early on this night because they were tired and I vividly remember leaving the park, walking down Main Street at 1 in the morning eating huge rice krispie treats with red and blue sprinkles and drinking hot chocolate and limping because of the blisters on my feet. My dad, Tori, Shea, Brenly, and I were the only ones to last until closing time and we were so exhausted and delusional, singing made-up songs about how ridiculously expensive the park was and throwing up. Literally. I can't wait to have these vacations with my future family.

scratch that "barely one song" comment...

It's only like an hour since I last posted, BUT I just had an epiphany and need to record it somewhere. At this point, I have learned seven chords on the guitar. Psh, and I thought I can only play one song. Actually, I have now successfully played through Untouchable by Taylor Swift, Good Riddance by Breen Day, Umbrella by Rihanna, and The Best Day by Taylor Swift. Sweet mother of pearl I'm going to be at this all night.

am I obsessed with you? that would be a yes.

So the weekend was great; met some new people, church was awesome, laughed a lot, ended up some places I never pictured at the beginning of the night (totally wholesome, don't fret), almost drove to San Francisco at 1 in the morning, and that's about it.... oh wait. I almost forgot. I crossed something off of my bucket list. Not only that, but it is going to be my claim to fame. Beginning at about 10:30 P.M. last night, I was receiving my first mini guitar lesson from my angelic cousin, Alex. I almost haven't set the thing down since. It's on my lap as we speak. I am in love. Simple as that. I'm not even remotely good yet and I can barely play one song but I'm improving!! And I have had new song ideas running through my head all day long. You can start calling me Taylor Swift soon.

Oh, it's a guitar.

Pic of the day? Yeah, that's it.

can we help you?

I got to spend more time at home today with dad!! Woohoo for having no scheduled life (me) and recovering from a horrid flu (him). I took about an hour and a half to get ready, which was so unnecessary, then I picked Tori up from school and watched all the pathetic high-school kids as they got into their Mustangs and BMW's.
My dad has been bugging the heck out of me, trying to get me to get another job so today I brought my completed Taco Bell application in and the restaurant was competey empty, so I saw this guys standing in the back of the kitchen and asked for his help... a little flirting never hurt anyone. So, him and this guy that I didn't see that was standing by the drive-thru window come over and I asked if there was someone I could give my application to, preferrably a manager. It took them a while to comprehend my question, who knows why, and one of them calls Vivian out from the back. Vivian comes out and these two guys decide the right place for them is still across the counter from me so she comes and stands between them, 3 vs. 1 style. It must have been quite a sight, the three of them staring at me. So I introduce myself to Vivian and hand over the application and then I go to leave as they are all yelling after me to have a great day. I hope I'm one of those desperate workers soon.

P.S. Skyped the ex-roomies today for the first time. Oh, how I miss them.

P.P.S. Today in the shower, where I do my best thinking, I decided that I'm going to learn to play the guitar this break. I've always wanted to and I know that if I don't just do it, I'll never get around to it. Wish me luck!

This picture is from July 2009, and is one of my favorites ever. Tori is perfectly content because she didn't have to ride the merry-go-round which she dislikes for some reason, Isaac is ready to move on to the next ride because he had so much fun... and I hated this picture set-up and wanted everyone to know it. It never gets old.

too often schedules get in the way of what could happen

Today was one of those days where, just 24 hours ago I wasn't expecting to do anything at all but I had a packed day and twas great :) I went to work with mom and then headed to downtown Sacramento for some picture-taking adventures with two great friends. Then I got home and went to the gym with Tori and acted as her trainer and topped it all off with some Biggest Loser with mom and dad. Does it get any better than that? I submit that it cannot.

PICTURE TIME:

This picture was taken in October in Perry, UT. It is my Abuelito (grandpa) and I in front of the new house that he and my Nana have been building for themselves. Aside from this man being one of my heroes and someone I love beyond words, this picture means a lot to me. It is probably one that I will show my children someday to describe my grandfather and the amazing person he is. He is the hardest-working man I know and keeps such a positive attitude, especially around his kids and grandkids. He is always so happy and it makes my day to see his face light up when he sees his children, listens to one of his grandchildren tell a story, or tells a joke that everyone laughs at. Because we all laugh at Lito's jokes.

can I get a bean burrito, some mild sauce, and a spork?

Today I traded in my green contacts for clear ones. Welcome back, brown-eyed Maddi. Also, my dad made me leave the house for an hour and look for a second job.
(I do already work at Old Navy, but I haven't been getting many hours at all and I'm going to be home alone with nothing to do but work out and go to the gym for the next three and a half months if I don't find a second job.)
So... I went to the library for about half an hour then picked up applications from Jack's Urban Eats and Taco Bell. And surprisingly, I really hope Taco Bell works out. I have always had this strange desire to work there. Maybe it's in my blood. ;)

Also, I loved doing that picture post last night/this morning so I'm going to add a picture of the day to all of my posts. The picture might be from that day, or it might be from ten years ago. It just depends on what I'm in the mood for!

(Left to right: Tori Hamilton, Brenly Stapley, Shea Stapley, Me, Braden Hamilton, Isaac Hamilton, Sam Stapley)

This picture was taken in May 2006 in Long Beach, CA in the parking lot of a motel we were staying in. It was a Sunday night and the next morning we boarded a Carnival cruise ship for a week long cruise with the Stapleys (my dad's sister's family). We hadn't seen our cousin Braden in about three years and we were in the city he lived in so he came and met us and I was so excited! Braden is my oldest cousin and I have always loved seeing him because I don't have any older siblings so he's the closest thing I have to that. This was a short but fun visit and after this night, I didn't see Braden for about four and a half years. But now I go to school about thirty minutes away from where he lives and works and I have loved seeing him more. I want him to know that I love him and can't wait to get to know him all over again.

a picture is worth 1000 words... but if they're good enough, you can't even find one.

Everyone has those pictures. The ones that not only remind of us a time in our lives, but they really bring us back to that moment; what we were feeling, hearing, saying, our opinions on things, what we were looking forward to, and what we did the next day. I adore these kind of pictures.
Some of these pictures remind me of a time when everything looked up. A time when I understood what it meant to have best friends and to be a best friend. A time when I learned to laugh at myself and love every second of it. A time when I realized I had two more sisters.

Some of these pictures remind me of an extraordinary day, and although those days were incredible, the few that followed would prove to be the most challenging in our lives. They remind me that there are people in my life who I would miss incredibly if they were taken from me, and I need to make every second with these people worth it while I have them.

Some of these pictures remind me of crying. Crying out of love, out of happiness, out of fear for what the future might bring, and crying out of letting go of one more aspect of childhood. Crying because I knew that my church, my family, my friends, and God are everything to me.

Some of these pictures make me smile automatically for reasons that no one could ever figure out, except for maybe the girl in this picture. They make me smile because I remember that exact day in my life and nearly everything about it. Because I was so happy that day when so much in my life was up in the air. Because a new adventure is bound to bring new lessons far beyond the end of the adventure. Because four words and a smile that day affected me in a way that no one knows :) Because a picture of anything from this day would make me feel the same way. And because I love Brooke Stoelltzing.

Some of these pictures were taken during a time where I was so busy that the pictures I look at after the fact let me relive those moments I might have missed. Because I was going through the most exciting time in my life and the people I love saw that adn were happy too. And that made everything so much better.

Some of these pictures are more symbolic that literal. They represent a dream that I had with two of my best friends that had come true. They represent fun and happiness and friendship on so many different levels that I can't help but smile about it.

Some of these pictures take me back to a life that I loved to live. Something so new that I had never experienced, but I don't think I'l be able to get enough of it. Something that I was able to share with five amazing women who i'll love forever. Something that looks somewhat pitiful on the outside, but if I had a million dollars I wouldn't change one part of it.

Some of these pictures teach me a lesson every time I look at them. They bring up a whole aspect of my life that I adore and wouldn't trade for the world. They teach me something that I can't wait to teach other people when I have the chance.

As Brad Paisley says, "Who needs pictures with a memory like mine?" I couldn't agree more. But pictures sure do help.