Grateful to be Alone

It's a funny thing, living alone in Orlando for four months. I didn't think it would be much different than living alone in Rexburg for four months. News flash: it is. The biggest difference is the definition of alone. Being alone in Rexburg meant living with or within walking distance from my best friends from high school. It meant having family a short 30 minute drive away and more family a four hour drive away. It meant living with roommates who turned into some of the best friends I've ever had. It meant church every Sunday, devotional every Tuesday, and a temple just a twenty minute walk away. It meant being able to go home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. On the other hand, being alone in Orlando means living in separate states as my best friends from high school and missing two of their weddings. It means having family a 6 hour, $300 plane ride away. It means living in an empty, quiet apartment because my roommates and I have opposite working schedules. It means church every other Sunday if I'm lucky. It means working 12 hours on Thanksgiving and Christmas, knowing how much fun my family is having.
After almost three months, I've realized how different alone can be and I have learned a very valuable lesson from it. First of all, alone never really means alone. My Savior has been by my side this entire time and He is my best friend. He has made up for all of the hugs I have missed out on from my best friends in California, Idaho, Utah, Oregon, and Colombia. I have been blessed to have family members and friends who will spend hours on the phone with me when they don't really know that that is what keeps me going. I'm not alone, but moments like these are more difficult. I'm sitting in my room, in my empty apartment knowing that my family is making the 75 minute drive to Modesto accompanied by Christmas music, cold weather, and holiday decorations to visit family, watch the news with Grandma and Grandpa late into the night, wake up in the morning to the smell of turkey and curl up in a blanket on the couch to watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade, and volunteer at the dinner for the homeless. I would give absolutely anything to be there with them.
Being home for the holidays is something I will cherish every year. So please don't ever take it for granted. Every time you walk into a house filled with people who love you, take a deep breath and look around. The laughter, the hugs, and the stories are things that may not come every year. The magic of Disney is amazing, but nothing is comparable to the magic of the Holidays with people you love. I feel lucky to have this experience to teach me this lesson. I could not have learned it any other way than for it to break me down the way it has. I am so grateful for the memories I have of years past with my family, for the knowledge that being alone sucks and this is the only year I will ever do this to myself, and for the opportunity to make more memories in the years to come.
Happy Thanksgiving!
I love you!